Charitable Children

Kids are so funny, Harry my four year old nephew wanted to put some coins into the charity box on the shop counter, I didn't have any cash on me at all, being so clever he grabbed the credit card I had used to pay for the ice creams out of my hand and put it into the charity box!!! Luckily I managed to act quickly and got hold of one corner of the card before it disappeared completely into the slot. A very charitable little boy! If either of his parents say they have no money when he's asking for something his reply is 'use your card!' - he's worked out these little pieces of plastic have power!

Patience of Children

After the family get together at the weekend all the children were loaded up into the respective cars and strapped into their car seats. With everything done the grown-ups stood and chatted and a very long goodbye ensued as we enjoyed the evening coolness. Meanwhile the kids aged 6 months to four years sat in their pyjamas under blankets, strangely they just looked on not making a single sound by way of complaint for the delay and the time the adults were taking to wind up and get going. These were the same little ones who had been shouting the house down earlier with their laughter and crying, yet somehow they haven’t yet learnt to be impatient in the manner adults would be when waiting for one another. Given that they had no idea when the conversation would draw to a close and the cars would get moving their patience was a truly amazing sight.

Children and Grieving

My three year old nephew Harry sat on my mums bed while she did the ironing. After a while he asked ‘where are nana’s clothes?’ noticing she was only ironing her own. ‘Doesn’t nana love you anymore?’ his little mind trying to make sense of why his grandfather didn’t live with us now. Finally he computed a solution: ‘lets get a ladder nanny then we can go ‘upstairs’ and bring nana back.’

Harry’s ‘let’s get a ladder and fetch nana back’ idea which has gone on for a few weeks came to a head yesterday as my mum told him ‘people who go upstairs to God don’t come back’, hearing this he went straight over to a wall painting depicting a religious figure and started hitting it repeatedly, a strong action for a little boy who isn’t known to be angry.

I wonder how difficult it must be for him as a small child to square the loss of his grandfather.

Professor Harry

This is a picture of me and my nephew Harry on our recent visit to a restaurant. On the way there I told him what we would be eating – dosa’s etc as it was south Indian cuisine. When our food arrived his Mum tried to entice him to eat the ‘pancake’ to which Harry promptly replied ‘it’s not a pancake it’s a dosa!’ Quite a big correction from someone who has only just turned three! It never ceases to amaze me how much information small children take in.

Courage and Honesty

I heard a lovely story at the weekend about my nephew. It was his first day at school and his parents asked him how it went. ‘Hari c-r-i-e-d’ he said (he doesn’t use I or me yet). Then the mite went on to give his folks a demonstration of how he had cried at school. Showered with lots of hugs and kisses he settled down for his afternoon nap.

Hearing this little snippet nearly brought tears to my eyes, when I look around and see the damage our conditioning has caused us as adults; after a bad day we’re more likely to open the refrigerator door and stuff our feelings with food, drown them in alcohol or send them up in a puff of smoke. This little child could answer his parents question with ruthless honesty, without feeling any embarrassment, in doing so, much of the stress and anxiety he experienced on his first day at school would have been released. What would happen if we could tap back into the honesty and courage we once possessed as children and communicate from that place more often?

10 Don'ts from your child

I was sorting through some paper work the other day and found a photocopy of this lovely list. I think it works well with adult to adult relationships too. There’s no author named on it.

1. Don’t spoil me. I know quite well that I ought not to have all that I ask for. I’m only testing you.

2. Don’t be afraid to be firm with me. I prefer it; it makes me feel more secure.

3. Don’t let me form bad habits. I have to rely on you to detect them in the early stages.

4. Don’t correct me in front of people if you can help it. I’ll take much more notice if you talk quietly with me in private.

5. Don’t protect me from consequences. I need to learn the painful way, sometimes.

6. Don’t nag. If you do, I shall have to protect myself by appearing deaf.

7. Don’t forget that I cannot explain myself as well as I should like. This is why I’m not always very accurate.

8. Don’t be inconsistent. That completely confuses me and makes me lose faith in you.

9. Don’t put me off when I ask questions. If you do, you will find that I stop asking and seek my information elsewhere.

10. Don’t forget that I can’t thrive without lots of understanding and love – but I don’t need to tell you do I?

The Wisdom of Children

Sameena is one of my closest friends, we got together for a natter recently. She has two beautiful daughters, here is the eldest Manal chilling out after Koran reading class.

I always marvel at the wisdom of young children, they are wonderful metaphors for health, being so tuned into their needs. They eat when they’re hungry, stop when they’re full and sleep when they’re tired. When they are happy they are brimful and their upset is accompanied by tears. They come at life with such vivid imaginations in which anything is possible, enormous determination and insatiable curiosity.