People are Reliable

I recall the words of a colleague who once said ‘people are reliable, you only need to meet them twice – on the first meeting they’ll tell you everything about themselves, just look and listen without any wishful thinking. There won’t be much new information in the second meeting; this is just to confirm what you picked up on in the first. After that you’ll just get repetitions of the behaviour, manner, beliefs, strengths and weaknesses that came out in that first interaction. So you can decide whether or not to progress in business or friendship based on your first meeting and be pretty accurate.’

I’ve never forgotten his wisdom. However in the past few months I’ve had real insight into what he was saying, when two people whom I met many years ago popped up out of the blue. There had been no contact for a long time and with each separate person it was startling to see that whatever I had been wary of in the initial meeting was still there only this time more exaggerated, more entrenched. In both cases the outer circumstances of each person’s life were also exactly the same as they had been several years earlier, which informed me that the inner thoughts and beliefs must also still be the same, since our actions stem from our perceptions.

In therapy it’s often said that three things have to be present in order for change to take place. The first is awareness that change is required, then the willingness and effort to make that change, the third is the right kind of professional help to facilitate the change process. If any one of these is missing change won’t occur. On the other hand it’s rare that all three conditions come together in the same place at the same time, hence my dear colleague’s words, ‘people are reliable, because they keep doing the same thing again and again.’

Today, Tomorrow, No Now!!

At the weekend I sat down and went through the nice new diary I bought a while ago, planning the times when I would like to take leave next year. It’s a great thing to do as there is no boss to seek permission from and I can take as much or as little as I like. It took a while and after I finished I went and did some chores. As I moved around I had a profound realization when a voice in my head said – ‘I don’t even know if I’ll be alive at that time I’m planning for, I have no guarantee whatsoever I’ll even be here tomorrow, this evening even!’

Life is just moment to moment and the present is all we truly ever have. It was one of those rare gems of thought, which has made me slow down (a lot) and savour what I’m doing as I’m doing it and I certainly feel enriched as a result. So much of our western lifestyle is focused on the future - a destination somewhere out there, and that’s important, equally too though is the journey that is to get us there and enjoyment of what happens along the way.

Getting a Perspective

At the weekend I went to a social event. As I parked my car and walked to the front of the building, thoughts regarding difficulties with a supplier of services to my business occupied my mind. At the entrance a man walked quickly across my path, he was holding onto the arm of a younger guy slightly ahead of him, I realised the man was blind. At that moment the difficulties which had been troubling me dropped from my mind in an instant. It was as if the universe was putting my troubles in perspective by reminding me of the gifts I take for granted and forget about - vision being only one of them, there are numerous – food, water, shelter, good health, hearing, mobility, caring family and friends.

Professor Harry

This is a picture of me and my nephew Harry on our recent visit to a restaurant. On the way there I told him what we would be eating – dosa’s etc as it was south Indian cuisine. When our food arrived his Mum tried to entice him to eat the ‘pancake’ to which Harry promptly replied ‘it’s not a pancake it’s a dosa!’ Quite a big correction from someone who has only just turned three! It never ceases to amaze me how much information small children take in.

Interpreting Your Dreams Workshop

This is a course I ran on 7th November in Hounslow. It was offered as a free workshop to members of the local community. The response was fantastic with all fifteen places being booked up within four days of the advertising going out and people continued to call and check for places right up to thirty minutes before the training was due to start!

The participants were so eager to learn and it was wonderful how they each made a special contribution - I always think training is a group effort and I know I learnt lots from them. We discovered how some dream symbols such as a train could fall under the category of both a place and a type of object. One participant mentioned teeth as a dream symbol - teeth falling out. Here we thought teeth could be an object but also come under the category of ‘people’ - the person who has lost the teeth.

It was lots of hard work to organise but the appreciation and enthusiasm of the participants made it all worthwhile.

Birds of a Feather

During the day I like to look out of the window from time to time and have been intrigued by the birds which come and sit on the grass. As they peck, they’ll keep looking up nervously again and again, sensing my presence may be. They perceive me as a danger, something to be feared, forgetting perhaps their amazing ability to fly high into the distance in just seconds in any direction they choose to a place of safety. As the danger they fear I don’t have that ability or speed. I think we are a lot like those birds when we give our fears and problems more power than they actually might have by forgetting our strengths and the wonderful qualities we possess.

Past, Present & Future

Problems don’t fall out of the sky, they are created over time through our thinking and actions (as well as our non-actions). In this respect we can say we are products of our past. It is our past which has brought us to and shaped the present state of our lives. The interesting thing is that today also informs tomorrow - the future. Whilst we can’t change the past, we do stand at a point of immense power in the present, whatever choices we make today create the consequences we will face tomorrow. In my mind, of the three; past, present and future, it’s the present which offers most leverage in helping us shape and live the lives we truly desire.

In my Shadow is my Light

I came across this quote some time ago. In my understanding it’s about those aspects of ourselves which need strengthening or improving, parts of us which have been around for a long while, followed us around like a shadow, we usually know them quite well, they are familiar, because we’ve tried so hard to change them and so many times, to the point the mere thought of them can fill us with dread and fear. Yet that dark shadow (those ways of being or behaving) is exactly where we need to go, for it illuminates those areas where we have most opportunity for personal growth.

Problems, Problems

When we have them it feels like we’re the only ones under the dark cloud and everyone else is deliriously happy! Forgetting perhaps that everyone has problems of one kind or another, for some it's concerns over health, while others are worried about finances or stressed by a relationship, indeed it’s said the only people without problems are the ones in cemeteries. From politicians, royalty and super stars to ordinary people like us, we all have them. What’s interesting too is the common desire to have a ‘problem free’ life. NLP has a profound way of transforming problems into achievable goals. Life is constantly changing and will never be ‘problem free’, however we can equip ourselves with the tools to deal with our problems head on rather than shrinking in fear of them. The amount of energy expended in denying a problem can be huge, the same energy when channelled into transforming a problem into a goal can motivate, uplift, energise and bring hope.

Perfect Imperfection

I came across this beautiful image of a peacock recently.

Have you ever thought what ugly feet a peacock has? It’s almost as if two different birds have been joined together, but it’s also nice, that even where there are so many awesome qualities, there are also flaws, a bit like us humans with our strengths and weaknesses, our flaws giving us the work we need to do in life’s school. I think striving for perfection is a doomed undertaking as it simply doesn’t exist, and the process of seeking it is costly in the harm done to our self esteem.

Designer Hugs

A visit to see my grandmother always gives me lots of food for thought. She’s an amazing person, I don’t know anyone who is able to be so present and in the moment and it shows up in everything she does, even her hugs, which are not just a momentary quick there-you-go as mind and body move onto something else, but she really ‘holds’ people physically and emotionally. I don’t ever recall her being the first to let go either. Her way of being is inspirational in this one eye and hand on the next task style of modern life.

Healing Trauma

I’m not sure where I heard or read this but the idea that ‘Life would not be painful if we lived and died once, but we experience the pain of death every time there is a major trauma in our lives.’ Serious illness, redundancy, repossession of a home, end of a relationship, loss of a parent, child or other close relative are just some of those traumas. The feelings involved can be vast, ranging from explosive anger and rage at one end to deep anguish and hurt at the other. Left unexpressed the emotions don’t go away they take up space and energy as they are repressed, manifesting overtime in the body as muscular tension and even disease.

I feel so empowered as an NLP Therapist helping people in such situations, because NLP can effectively nurture deep healing even with clients for whom the recalling of the traumatic episode is unbearable, or where the memory of the event is fragmented. Giving them freedom from the past, emotionally, mentally and physically.

Food Experiment

I’m looking forward to an interesting next few days as I manage without a refrigerator. 7 days to be precise until the new one arrives, its poor predecessor having come to a sudden stop last night. I can’t quite get my head round it yet. People have been giving me lots of reassurance, especially stories about how folks forty or so years ago managed perfectly well without them. A time when milk used to be delivered to the door early each morning and the last drop went into nightcaps in the evening. When people cooked enough for one meal. A kind of now and in the moment way of cooking and eating. Reminds me of holidays abroad in India where as children if we got peckish while playing outdoors we would walk just a few metres and pull some turnips out of the soil, wash them with water from a well, peel the skin off with our teeth and gobble them up. And they were so delicious! Soil to tummy in ten minutes!

Giani Thakur Singh Ji

I caught up with Giani ji at the end of his month long U.K tour. He’s such an approachable, down-to-earth person despite his vast knowledge and international standing. We talked as if we'd known each other for years, no formality, straight into deep, fascinating conversation.

Giani has a keen interest in auras and his insight into aura shapes was amazing. He explained how with regular spiritual practice in the form of prayer and meditation a person's aura can increase in size - deeply spiritual people can sometimes have auras so big it's as if there were a giant standing behind them!

Giani is a great believer in reiki, urging me to undertake training in it and incorporate the approach into my therapeutic practice. He gave an example of a heart surgeon who gives all his patients reiki healing before commencing surgery, accounting for a 100 per cent success rate in patient recovery. Giani knows a lot about the chakras too, both from a spiritual perspective as well as for healing. He related an interesting technique, saying the energy of any chakra can be balanced by doing Mool Mantar jaap or simran while holding a hand over the affected chakra. The other way to do it is to place a hand over the chakra straight after Mool Mantar or simran has finished. The Gurbani or simran helps release the energy blockage in an underactive chakra, while calming one which is overactive.

Wary of time as we both had other appointments, we moved on to the subject of interpreting dreams and especially prophetic dreams which foretell future events. This led our conversation nicely to the future and what that might look like in terms of life here on earth.

Giani ji is constantly attending to people’s problems as they seek advice from him in person, by phone or through radio shows. Coming from a helping profession myself, I wanted to check that he wasn't absorbing this negativity in some way. He agreed he was internalising it into the muscles of his body and promised to walk at least 20 minutes everyday in order to release the negative energy. It's a routine he does have back home in Patiala but which gets overlooked when he’s on tour because of the sheer volume of people wanting to meet him. So he’s going to be doing ‘walkie talkies’ now – taking people who want to meet up with him out for a walk! So if you go to see Giani ji make sure you’re wearing comfortable shoes!

H.A.L.T

This is a great acronym for maintaining physical and emotional health. The idea is to stop whenever you experience any of these and attend to the particular need, ensuring it is satisfied in a healthy way.

Are you …

Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired

then Halt!

Of Men and Dogs

On the weekend I went to hear an inspirational and thought provoking talk, which left quite an impression on me. The speaker described his experience of arriving at the airport. While waiting, he happened to be looking around and saw sniffer dogs scouring the luggage. He made some poignant statements, saying that as human beings we are at the apex of the animal kingdom and yet we need dogs to keep us in line. He stressed we are only human for as long as we have ‘humanness’ in us - that capacity to understand and empathise with others. To me, this isn’t about agreement, since every person has their own unique set of values and principles, but it is about being able to perceive another persons view point, especially when it’s different from our own and to get a sense of their pain and suffering. This is what builds bridges and connects people, to do otherwise is a world of ever increasing conflict, war and famine.

Feedback versus Failure

Last weekend I spent a wonderful afternoon in the company of my nephew Harry, who is two and a half years old. He quickly transformed an empty chocolate box into a camera and peered down one end of it seeing me at the other. When we went to the park, his buggy replaced the toy cars he’d been playing with at home and he happily pushed it around the play area.

As I watched him I was amazed at how instantly he can change his thinking, it reminded me of the NLP concept of Feedback versus Failure. This is about how to see whatever results from a given situation as an opportunity, focusing on what was done really well and giving acknowledgement and praise for that, identifying areas which need to be improved, creating specific plans for making those improvements and then to prepare for the next opportunity.

Cleaning Up

I’ve been undertaking a little project at home. The strong smells and colours of ordinary detergents and cleaning products had been bugging me for a while, so I decided to investigate alternative options. And I really did have to play detective in our airport sized local superstore. The natural cleaning stuff was neatly tucked away at the end of a totally unrelated aisle. So, one by one as I’ve needed to replenish stocks, I’ve been trying out the plant derived variety and have been really impressed.

Having a strong sense of smell, the first thing that hits me is how pleasant the fragrances are, one kind of antibacterial cleaner has such an amazing smell (I think it’s the bergamot in it) that it was nearly nice to be cleaning. And they work just as well. Another surprising discovery was how cheap the natural stuff is. So it’s been a win-win all round. Amazing what happens when we explore a different route to the same destination!

Positive Intention

This is one of my favourite NLP concepts, especially in communication, where it can have a profound impact in terms of understanding, respect and compassion. So what is positive intention? It’s best demonstrated with an example.

Last week I gave my Dad a call to see how he was doing. He’s a warm person and takes his fatherly responsibility very seriously – he always goes through a list of questions to find out I am well and happy. This time however he was distant and didn’t want to talk to me. So I left it there. I applied the notion of positive intention to his behaviour - he was trying to achieve something positive through his behaviour of not wanting to speak with me, even though I didn’t know what that was. I left the matter alone and continued with my day, instead of running different scenarios in my mind of what I may or may not have done for him to be like that or how I was now going to respond to him because of his behaviour. In the evening he called back – this time his usual self, warm, caring; needing to know all was well with me. He also said he couldn’t talk earlier because he was at someone’s house when I had called and the family were present there so he didn’t feel comfortable.

To me positive intention is suspending judgment; it’s leaving the space free for further information. Like when a driver overtakes aggressively, it’s kinder on both of us for me to think there is some positive intention as to why they are doing what they’re doing, may be they are running late for an important appointment, perhaps there’s a sick child or relative at home or it’s their way of coping with stress - whatever – focusing on the positive intention keeps me relaxed, positive and stable.

Listen

Sifting through some old papers yesterday, I came across this lovely piece; most of us will identify with both speaker and listener.

Listen

When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving advice, you have not done what I ask.

When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I should not feel that way, you have trapped my feelings.

When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem, you have failed me, strange as that may seem.

Listen! All I ask, is that you listen, not talk or do – just listen and hear me.

I can do for myself! I am not helpless. Maybe discouraged and faltering but not helpless. When you do something for me that I can do for myself, you contribute to my fear and weakness, but when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying to convince you and get about the business of understanding what’s behind this irrational feeling and when that’s clear, the answers are obvious and I don’t need advice.

Irrational feelings make sense when we understand them.

Perhaps that is why prayer works sometimes for some people because God is mute and he doesn’t give advice or try to fix things. He just listens and lets you work it out for yourself. So please listen and just hear me and if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn and I’ll listen to you.

Author unknown

Work more, Buy more

I was flicking through a health magazine last week while I waited to go in for an appointment and came across an inspiring article. The focus for the piece was the ‘work more, buy more’ modern life style and how an increasing number of people are consciously moving away from this way of living. The shift in thinking stems from a realization that more ‘things’; latest entertainment systems, phones etc don’t always provide more happiness and having to work so hard to earn the necessary money to buy these is very stressful.


It’s something I can identify with after the TV blew up a while ago and I started looking into buying a new one. When I thought about it seriously I realized I hardly ever used it and what I really would value, enjoy and benefit from was an extra weeks holiday this year. It’s made me think of the importance of standing back in situations and asking myself ‘What do I really want here?’

Courage and Honesty

I heard a lovely story at the weekend about my nephew. It was his first day at school and his parents asked him how it went. ‘Hari c-r-i-e-d’ he said (he doesn’t use I or me yet). Then the mite went on to give his folks a demonstration of how he had cried at school. Showered with lots of hugs and kisses he settled down for his afternoon nap.

Hearing this little snippet nearly brought tears to my eyes, when I look around and see the damage our conditioning has caused us as adults; after a bad day we’re more likely to open the refrigerator door and stuff our feelings with food, drown them in alcohol or send them up in a puff of smoke. This little child could answer his parents question with ruthless honesty, without feeling any embarrassment, in doing so, much of the stress and anxiety he experienced on his first day at school would have been released. What would happen if we could tap back into the honesty and courage we once possessed as children and communicate from that place more often?

Seeing Spiritual Auras

An aura is the subtle energy field surrounding every living being. This energy appears in the form of different colours depending on the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual state of an individual at any moment in time. This article is about how you can learn to see auras and be inspired by the more mystical aspects of those you interact with and meet on your life’s path.

Some people associate seeing auras with psychic or clairvoyant powers, for me it’s a little more down-to-earth than that, mainly because I learnt to read them while working in a bank during my student days. It all started when our line manager brought in a newspaper cutting of an article on auras and thought it would be good fun for us to learn how to read them. We learnt quickly but weren’t always sure if what we were seeing was real or imaginary, so being the bright sparks we were, we hit upon the idea that we would all read someone’s aura at the same time and then write our answers down on a bit of paper along with our name and fold it up. Once all the papers were gathered together they could be opened and we could get some idea of the accuracy of our readings. The results were startling; our team of seven all saw the same colour, then we knew we were onto something.

Over the years I’ve had some interesting encounters with auras. While on my travels abroad I met some Gursikhs in Singapore and we had a great time doing experiments. One evening I read the aura of one of them - it was a combination of blue and purple which indicates spirituality and intuition and was positioned around the top of his head. We then all went for a Rainsabai Kirtan and early next morning he was keen to have his aura read again to test if it had changed in any way as a result of hearing the Kirtan. It was fascinating to see the aura was now around his throat and much larger than before, he confirmed his focus for the preceding hours had been on the ‘singing’ of Gurbani as opposed to his daytime routine of thinking about it. So changes in activity as well as mental and emotional state are directly reflected in the colour, location and size of the aura.

The steps for reading an aura are quite easy. All you need is a pale background such as a white or cream coloured internal or external wall against which to stand your subject, with you stood in front of them at a distance of about 10 feet. Ask them to relax by taking some deep breaths and if you notice any signs of muscle tension - around the shoulders for example invite them to relax there, at the same time calm and ground yourself too. After a minute or so you are ready to begin your aura reading. As you look at the person, begin to defocus your eyes so you are more aware of the things in your peripheral vision than the details of the person. Continue to hold attention in your peripheral vision and quite quickly you should be able to see a centimetre or more of colour as a kind of cloud around the outer edge of the persons head and shoulders. It’s a very quick process taking a maximum of 3 to 4 minutes. Practising with others helps because you can compare readings and overcome any ‘is it real or am I imagining it?’ kind of responses. Some people don’t see a colour but they can sense a colour and this way of reading auras works just as well.

Here’s a brief run down of the main aura colours as I have experienced them:

Purple, blue, white and gold represent spirituality, intuition and sensitivity. Electric blue indicates a gift to communicate through telepathy. Pink is the colour of a person who can love unconditionally. Orange speaks of a strong, sociable, outgoing person who is eager to explore life. Yellow is about someone who is optimistic, happy and easy-going, it often appears with green.

Green is about healing oneself or possessing the ability to heal others. I saw this colour on the front of a friends shoulder one time, when I enquired if she had an injury there she told me about her sporting accident and how she had just come from a massage appointment. Having the massage would have promoted healing in the affected area giving rise to the green coloured aura around that part of her body.

Red means lots of focus and energy. Once my sister came home from work and after dropping her bag in the hallway she came straight into the lounge and closed the door behind her. As she stood there against the white of the door I saw a disc of red colour right on the top of her head. I asked if she had been concentrating a lot that day and true enough she’d just come out of an awful meeting which had lasted for hours and had required lots of focused thinking.

Black auras reflect bad intentions or actions. I’ve only ever seen one and despite the outwardly friendly, helpful demeanour of the person, I chose to go with the darkness of the energy surrounding them to inform my decision not to pursue further professional dialogue. A couple of years later I read a story in the local press about the same person, who had been convicted for assaults against women dating back to the time when I saw the black aura.

Sometimes you don’t need to ‘read’ a person’s aura by getting them to stand against a light background and defocusing your eyes etc. the aura is just there, clearly visible. Here‘s an example. I was coming out of a shopping centre once accompanied by a dear friend, as we walked down the steps to the pavement below, two Buddhist monks in their saffron coloured robes passed by quickly in the lunch time crowd. They had the most astonishing auras I have ever seen – electric blue and one foot tall around the tops of their heads, it was a case of ‘follow those monks!’ Sadly we lost them in the crowd. I still wonder sometimes, what kind of spiritual practice they must have had to create such amazing auras.

A similar thing happened more recently when I needed to speak to a well known Kirtanee and Parcharak on some professional matter. It was straight after the Kirtan and the room was filled with people talking. As I approached this person being taller than myself it was necessary for me to look upwards a little, as I did what caught my attention was an incredible gold coloured aura, just around the right side of his head, it was so unexpected but there as clear as day. It’s the only time I’ve seen a gold aura and it made me realize something quite profound; this isn’t just a profession for him - he is naturally gifted with spiritual knowledge and wisdom.

Places have auras too. The aura of Harmandir Sahib at Amritsar is so brilliant that it lights up the sky above the entire complex, so even on the darkest night the sky appears blue as if it were daytime.

Being able to see and appreciate auras is one way of developing our subtle abilities. Spiritual states are experienced through our senses at a very subtle level, manifesting as visions, enchanting sounds, depth of feeling outside our normal range of experience, tastes and fragrances, movement and communication beyond the usual dimensions of time and space. These spiritual experiences are the flowers growing naturally on the wayside, they can be admired and connect us to an increasing sense of awe of the magnificence of the Creator as we walk on our spiritual path. And of course the flowers change with the altitude. The lives of enlightened Gursikhs are embellished with spiritual experiences and we can draw much inspiration from them; Baba Harnam Singh ji Rampur Khera (the account of his life: Se Kinehiya) and Bhai Sahib Randhir Singh ji (his autobiography Jail Chittian) are two such examples. Giani Thakur Singh ji (Patiala) a modern day Parcharak also often refers to the spiritual experiences of living Gursikhs in his katha.

The Meaning of Khalsa Colours

As subtle beings we are affected by many things, one of these is colour. The colours of the clothes we wear, the food we eat and those we see in our environment all have an affect on our emotions and wellbeing. Below are some meanings of the Khalsa colours from a colour therapy perspective, exploring the many ways in which they influence us as Sikhs in our personal and spiritual development.

The colour yellow has to do with our sense of self, our identity - who we are. It brings forth the emotions of happiness and joy. Yellow is most strongly associated with the brain and mental faculties, giving rise to focus and clarity of thought, it is helpful to learning and the gathering of knowledge. In general terms; knowing your direction and what you are doing in life.

Blue is a beautiful colour, seen in the healing water of Sarovars and the Bana of Gursikhs. It nurtures faith and trust. Blue is the colour of peace. It supports the development of verbal communication skills.

Royal Blue is the colour of sensitivity. The deep blue of the night sky during Amrit Vela enhances intuition, resulting in intuitive thoughts and insights. It is the colour of honesty, of being reliable. Presence and authority are other qualities inspired by this colour.


Orange appears in the form of our Nishan Sahibs, the cholas worn by Panj Pyaray and Sikh turbans. This is the colour of deep joy and bliss. It absorbs shocks, nasty experiences and trauma. It’s about letting go of what holds us back or what is not helpful. Orange is the colour of connection, a sense of community, belonging and social aspects of being.

The colour gold features strongly in Sikh surroundings, from Harmandir Sahib at Amritsar to the domes of Gurdwaras around the world, as well as their interiors. This colour soothes anxiety and represents deep happiness. Gold is healing. It is linked to inner wisdom and may be instrumental in helping people find answers to their life situations.

White occupies the largest space in the Sikh landscape especially in India where white marble has been used extensively in the architecture of Gurdwara buildings and their grounds. It is one of the common colours worn by Gursikh men and women. White is said to contain the whole light spectrum. Its characteristics are strength and purity.

Black is a colour which grounds and helps people to feel deeply rooted. I once heard an interesting story told by an old relative. She was eighteen at the time of the Nankana Sahib massacre in 1922. Her memory of what happened was so vivid; it was like hearing a news report of the incident. Being a feisty young woman she had travelled to Nankana Sahib the day following the massacre. She said Sikhs at that time generally didn’t wear much black; however in the days after the killings many dyed their clothes and turbans black. The massacre would have sent shock waves through the Sikh community; it’s interesting how Sikhs intuitively turned to the colour black which would have had a stabilising effect during a time of anguish.

So what happens when we combine all these colours together, what kind of image do they create?

It’s a person who has a strong sense of themselves, is clear about their identity and who they are. Has deep faith and trust in God. Experiences joy, bliss, happiness and peace. It’s someone who is considerate of others. A confident person, able to handle life’s difficulties and apply focused thinking and action. Who possesses wisdom and knowledge and is on a continuous path of learning. A responsible individual who participates on a social level. A dependable, honest person. Strong and grounded. Having purity in thought and deed. A Khalsa.

The Golden Key

During the Easter holidays I was checking the car over in preparation for a long journey, when something caught my eye. It was a gloriously sunny day; in the border which lines the fence amongst hundreds of small stones I saw a golden key - an old fashioned long brass key. I’m amazed at how it came straight into my line of vision as I was stood some distance away. So I went over and picked it up, perfectly clean as it was I popped it into my pocket.

One of my favourite books - the kind which has the fragrance of many countries lingering in its yellowing pages is A Little Light on the Spiritual Laws by Diana Cooper; it has a wonderful chapter called The Law of Reflection. Basically that every person, situation or object is a mirror providing us with an important message about ourselves. For example if your car battery goes flat (as mine did last year) it could be highlighting the fact that your body or mind needs rest and ‘re-charging’.

As for my golden key, well keys open doors, doors opening represents new opportunities and people often talk about ‘golden’ opportunities, a key is also symbolic of good luck. ‘Having the key’ means having the answer/s too. I’m still working out what the message is - for a few weeks now I’ve been playing around with creating some fab affirmations which are quickly producing the results I’m after - I wonder if doing these affirmations is the ‘Golden Key’ I’ve found?

Origins of Talent

It’s said that one life time is just a chapter in the book of the soul. I believe we carry our special talents over with us from previous lives. Last year I met an exceptionally gifted singer and it was interesting to discover his journey as a musician started in childhood. When I look back at my own life I read my first personal development book at the age of eleven, I wonder was it fate it was incorrectly filed in the children’s section or was I drawn to it. It felt very natural to learn about the mind, about meditation and visualisation. I think this notion of ‘carrying over’ applies to our personality traits too; whatever is strongest about you - the comments people who don’t know you first make when they meet you, for example the most common description of me is ‘You’re so calm’, it’s even become a little boring to hear!

Interpreting Your Dreams

When I deliver training courses no other topic generates as much fascination amongst participants as the subject of interpreting dreams. It seems each person is curious to unravel some of the mystery of their nocturnal visions and gain access to the insights and wisdom they believe are locked in those images.

A good place to start is an understanding of where our dreams come from. For this we must look at the mind and it’s useful to apply the analogy of an iceberg. The tip of the iceberg visible above the water can be likened to our conscious mind; all that we are aware of in the present moment. The conscious mind can deal with about 5 to 7 tasks or pieces of information at any one time and is responsible for linear, analytical thinking involving factual information and numbers.

The 90 percent or so of the iceberg which is under the water and can’t be seen is similar to our unconscious or ‘sub’conscious mind. It takes care of all the thousands of processes going on in the body which keep us alive. The unconscious mind governs feelings, intuition and creativity. It also serves as a huge store house for our life memories and the skills we’ve already learnt. Sometimes also called the right brain the unconscious mind communicates in a language of images, symbols, metaphors and stories and of course dreams.

I believe while we are asleep at night the unconscious mind isn’t just repairing and healing our bodies, it’s also working through the emotional issues we face in our waking lives and attempting to resolve and heal them too.

Dreams can provide us with guidance and reassurance. They can deliver important messages and warnings, shedding light on areas of concern we are perhaps overlooking. Highlighting our fears as well as our deepest desires. So how can you know what your dreams mean?

There are four basic steps. The first is to record your dream. This is best done in a journal. I find spiral bound hard back notebooks are best, since they are the easiest to write in. You can get up to 70 percent more information from a dream by writing it down than simply reflecting on it in your mind. This is because the process of writing gets the dream out of your head and in front of you allowing for much greater clarity. So imagine your dream is like a film you’ve just watched and write it down like a story; ‘I was in such and such a place when this happened and then I …’ don’t worry if you can’t remember all of it, even a snippet can be quite revealing. To improve recall try to wake up naturally; relax for a few moments and gently focus on your dream, this will help to bring it into conscious awareness.

Once you’ve described the ‘story’ of the dream you can begin to break it down by making a list of all the dream symbols. These are the naming words or nouns; the places, people, animals and objects contained in the dream.

Now you’re ready to start your interpretation. Take each dream symbol in turn and ask yourself ‘What does this person represent to me in my life?’, ‘What does this animal/object remind me of?’ or ‘What does this place represent to me?’ and write your answer next to each symbol.

The meanings of symbols are always unique to each individual. A lost handbag in one woman’s dream may represent concerns about losing something she places a lot of importance on such as a job or relationship, because in waking life the handbag normally contains her valuables; money, keys, phone etc. The same dream symbol for another woman could indicate worry about her self image or appearance because the handbag usually has her make-up items in it.

Many people find when they have been interpreting their dreams for sometime; they begin to build up a personal dream dictionary, made up of re-occurring symbols which are unique to them. For example, my car is a common symbol representing my life. Recently I dreamt the car had been transformed into three tall refrigerators/freezers all made out of the same coloured metal as the car and were standing in its parking space. Later in the dream I’m using a microwave oven – a very quick way to ‘defrost’ things and cook them. So the dream speaks of the present in which some aspects of my life feel ‘frozen’ or stuck and advises that I will quickly overcome the challenges.

By the time you’ve taken each symbol and discovered it’s meaning for you, you’ll have most of the message the dream is communicating. The final step is about uncovering the feelings and emotions. These are very important clues as to which aspects of the dream you need to pay most attention to. The question to ask here is; ‘Which scene contains the most energy?’ or ‘Which part of the dream really stands out?’

The unconscious mind produces different types of dreams. It has the capacity to jump forwards in time resulting in prophetic dreams, foretelling events that have yet to take place in real life. It can go backwards too, giving us glimpses into our past lives. The unconscious mind can also pick up and communicate to us information from thousands of miles away. Here is a personal example:

When my father was visiting India once I had a very strong dream in which I saw him lying in a hospital bed and on a drip. The overwhelming emotion was a deep sense of loss that I might never see him again. This was very disturbing, for as far as we knew he was well and really enjoying his holiday. I had only finished relating the dream when the phone rang and my uncle who had arrived back from India that morning said he was on his way over and needed to speak to us urgently. He described how he had gone to meet my father and discovered he had been taken seriously ill and was in hospital. His concern was that my father’s health was deteriorating rapidly because he wasn’t getting the medical treatment he needed and that if we didn’t go and bring him back ‘he might not make it’.

There are various kinds of spiritual dreams too. One type is where the karma of the dreamer is reduced by experiencing the event which would have happened in waking life through the medium of a dream.

From helping us to find solutions to our everyday problems through to settling our karmic debts, dreams play an important role in our lives. Learning how to interpret them can open the doorway to a hidden treasure.

Spring

Since yesterday it seems spring has finally arrived. The sunshine has been glorious. The winter bugs are still harassing people and a couple of friends are down with viruses. This year has been the best ever for me on the bug front, not one sore throat or cough, much less any flu. Two reasons perhaps. Following a vegan diet automatically pushes me towards more fruit and veg because I can’t default to dairy products. More importantly though, I’ve been staying clear of sugar, completely, which I find very liberating. It’s something I simply don’t have to think about. I’m always reminded of an interesting chat I once had with my G.P. He told me how eating refined sugar lowers immune system functioning by 50% for up to 5 hours. That’s staggering!

I think we’ve become conditioned to associate treats with sugary snacks. I still have treats but not ones which will work against my body. A real treat is something my body will appreciate too, not just my mind.

Finding sugar at my place always brings amusement to my friends, as I stand on tiptoes, poking about on the top shelf of the kitchen cabinet with a wooden spoon to find the abandoned sugar pot, so they can enjoy a cup of tea!

Transforming Problems

I’m very fond of this particular Sikh teaching; suffering and happiness are the two sets of clothes worn alternately by every human being as they travel on life’s journey. It can help us to understand that problems are a part of life, no matter what we may do to protect ourselves; we will encounter them along the way.

The problem was actually a solution at one time. Like in the story of the man who needed to get across a river. Having built his boat he made it safely over to the other side, but then continued on his way carrying the boat on his back for the rest of his life. What is a problem today was the perfect thing to do yesterday given who we were then and our circumstances. We can respect our problems for the good they have done us in the past and know that we have evolved now. Problems are a natural by-product of our creative and growth processes. When we want to go in a different direction that’s more in line with who we are in the present, the old way of doing things becomes problematic.

Our problems are opportunities in disguise. They enable us to change ways of behaving and thinking which are no longer productive for us. A good analogy here is of iron ore, which is first placed into the furnace and made red hot, then taken out and given a good beating by the blacksmith as he hammers it into a new shape. The process we go through with our problems is similar. The intense heat and pressure we experience are necessary to help us get rid of our impurities – those beliefs and ways of acting or relating which need to be updated.

Like the blacksmith, individuals whom we perceive as difficult for the ‘hard time’ they give us, are actually very important to our development, they tell us ‘hey, this is where you need to look’. Hence the saying ‘our worst enemies are our greatest teachers’, because they expose vulnerabilities in us, which we can then strengthen. Viewed in this light, problems can be seen as positive challenges through which we can improve our lives.

Acceptance as paradoxical as it may sound is the first step to changing any problem. This can be hard, but it need only be momentary. Let’s take an example. Imagine I want to visit Paris. I could wish forever and it will remain totally impossible, unless I first acknowledge where I currently am. The moment I accept I’m in London the way to get to Paris is instantly mapped out and within a short space of time I could be there. My accepting I’m in London isn’t the same as liking or wanting to be in London, I may not want to be here for a single minute, however in order for me to get to my destination I must accept that’s where I am today. And so it is for our problems, acceptance of the present situation as it is, no matter how much you dislike it or wish it wasn’t the case, is key.

The solution is always present in the problem. The trick is knowing how to find it. Once you have accepted there is a problem, ask yourself; ‘What do I want instead of this …?’ These are the magic words which will transform your problem into a goal, something you feel attracted towards. It’s far easier to move in the direction of a goal than it is to focus attention on a problem. This is because when we think of problems we usually recall events that have already taken place (the past), causing us to feel stuck, helpless and demotivated. The going round and round in circles kind of thinking. Changing the problem into a goal will steer your thinking towards the future, by getting you to focus on how you would like things to be. It’s energising, creating a positive attitude with which to overcome the difficulty.

The ups and downs of life are the continuously changing externals, the ‘clothes’ we wear on the outside. True happiness, the kind which is constant because it’s not dependent upon any circumstance, relationship or possession is to be found on the inside, within us. That’s the place of real stability and security.

People from the Future

I’ve been thinking about how life will be for people in the future, many generations from now when the earth’s resources have been depleted.

Early in the autumn last year we had a blackout in our area, a very rare happening. It was a strange experience - when I looked out through the windows it was completely dark all around accompanied by an eerie silence.

Made me wonder how the people of the future will live without any electricity, gas and petrol. I’m trying to picture life without cookers, fridges and washing machines, heating and cooling systems, PCs, TVs, phones, cars, trains and planes. How will people cook their food, how will they keep warm, how will they earn a living? What will happen to shops, offices, schools and hospitals?

I’m reminded that some people already live life with very little use of electricity. People like some relatives I have in India. The few days I spent with them last year in their village opened my eyes to a different way of life. Practically everything was home grown, from the wheat to rice and even spices like turmeric. They have their own water supply and milk. Cooking is over a clay stove using fire wood from the fields. The crops they grow are also their source of income. Sure, things would change for them too, they wouldn’t be able to use their tractors if there were no diesel, but then they already know how to farm without one and are happy to get around by bicycle. They have a very independent and self-sufficient way of life. Things don’t grind to a halt when there’s no electricity, they can still cook food, keep warm, wash and earn a living. I wonder if they are the people from the future …

Health and the Seasons

The snow has really created a holiday atmosphere with everyone I spoke to or met today. It’s been too long in coming for someone like me.

I have a theory regarding optimum health and the seasons. For the past few years I’ve noticed as soon as it hits 1st September and the days begin to get cooler, an internal alarm clock goes off for me. The colder and darker the days become, the happier and healthier I am. By the December holidays I’m really thriving.

My theory is that our bodies recognise the weather conditions we were born into and it responds positively to them. I’m born in early January at the height of the winter, so the frost and icy temperatures bring out the best in me, making me feel energetic and bright.

I tested my theory out on a friend, at first it seemed completely way off. She likes high temperatures with lots of rain, not really typical kind of UK weather. Delving a little deeper, I discovered she wasn’t born in England at all; she’s actually born in an African country which does have those weather conditions around the date of her birthday.

Bad news, Good news

Joking with a friend last night I related to her my theory about how the TV blew up – ‘go on’ she said ‘Professor Darshan tell me how it happened’ – 'Well, I suspect the relentless negativity of the news was just too much for the poor thing to take – I know it was for me!' - I replied.

I believe it is important to keep informed, especially where there is injustice against innocent people. However there’s more to us human beings than the destruction of each other and the planet. We’re doing good things too and it’s a shame more of these stories don’t show up in the news. So that when we watch it we’re not just bombarded with images and reports of occurring and impending disaster but also uplifted, made to feel a little lighter, given some hope and touched in some way by hearing of the kindness and compassion we’re also capable of.

Sometimes I think if aliens came and visited earth and the first thing they did was to switch on the news they’d probably jump straight back in their spaceships and make the quickest exit possible. That would be such a shame, because the news isn’t a balanced representation of what is really happening in our world.

I think we can all take personal responsibility and search for the ‘good news’ in life too. Better still maybe we can create it through our actions as individuals and through our interaction with others.

Life without Television

Last weekend I made myself a big mug of camomile tea, got my fleece blanket and settled down to watch a good film. When I switched on the TV there was a loud bang followed by some smoke and the smell of fumes. It was a bit of a shock but I was pleased too in a strange way, because I had wanted to have more time to read and to write my journal.


So after airing the room I picked up a half read book, which ironically had been sitting for ages on a shelf in the TV cabinet and snuggled up on the sofa. It was so relaxing, I’d pause from time to time to listen to the gentle ticking of the wall clock and only put the book down after I’d finished it.

I’d already planned to spring clean the lounge the next day so the timing was perfect and with the help of a kind neighbour the TV was put in the car and taken to its final resting place at the tip and a special cage just for old TVs.

It does feel a bit strange, but I do notice I’m more relaxed, which isn’t due to not watching TV. I was such a hopeless viewer anyway, if there were ever a competition to find the worlds worst TV viewer I would win hands down, my viewing was so erratic, I’d go a whole week sometimes without even switching it on, I never followed any programmes. I guess the only real use I had for it was to watch DVDs, something historical and meaningful which I did enjoy from time to time. If all viewers were like me the BBC would only have to make about three programmes a year and alternate them!

I think the relaxation could be down to the fact that I’m now doing more activities which are calming by nature, like reading an inspiring book and really enjoying the quietness, of which there’s not a lot in modern day living. I bumped into a friend yesterday who asked if I’d been on holiday - no I said I’ve just been without TV for a week!

Success with New Years Resolutions

Most people will be starting the New Year with some resolutions in mind. Having goals is fundamentally important to wellbeing. Goals are attractors, like magnets they pull us forwards into our future, making it compelling and stop us from getting stuck. They give our lives a sense of direction and movement. Achieving them has a positive impact on our self esteem.

Here are some simple tips to help you on your way:

State your goal in positive terms. What you want to achieve as opposed to what you want to stop doing, for example ‘I want to eat less chocolate’ can be better rephrased as ‘I want to eat more fruit’. This is because in order to process the negative your mind first has to make a picture of what is to be negated – so it sees a nice big bar of chocolate and then tells itself not to eat it, which actually reinforces the very thing you want to keep away from! Having a goal of eating more fruit gives your brain a very clear and direct message of what you want to happen.

Commit your goals to writing. Anything which has significance in life is stated in writing. Birth, marriage, death, laws, religious scriptures all have written form. Remember to include the date you set your goal, it will be meaningful when you look back after achieving it. A journal, diary, laptop or postcards are all great for doing this. If you’re a more visually oriented person you might like to create a collage of different pictures or photos which represent your goal.

Specify for Success. Anything can be accomplished if it’s broken down into small enough steps. We human beings have sent men to the moon! Goals are essentially journeys, they take us from where we are to where we want to be and like any journey they are made up of individual steps. Identifying the daily, weekly and monthly steps which need to be taken, will help you to keep on track.

These can be of an external nature such as doing regular exercise, sticking to a healthy eating plan, learning a new skill or getting the support of a friend. Equally important are the internal personal qualities you can draw on like determination, being organised, relaxed, creative or patient. Beliefs also exert a huge amount of influence on goals, an empowering belief to hold could be: ‘I deserve to have my goal and am capable of achieving it.’

Have milestones and celebrate them. Milestones are critical for keeping up the necessary motivation to reach a goal. Celebrating them serves to acknowledge all the effort you’ve put in and how far you’ve come, as well as adding in some all important feel good factor.

Keep your eye on the goal when doing the boring stuff. Having the bigger picture in mind while doing the smaller everyday kinds of tasks towards your goal will help you to stay focused and motivated.

Don’t be scared of the blips. Thankfully we’re not robots, but wonderful human beings, so there will be days when you are amazingly enthusiastic and feel nothing in the world could stop you and others when you feel weary and tired towards your goal. When you have a blip be gentle and loving to yourself and remember if you’ve taken three steps forward and moved back two, you’ve still gained one step and are still closer to your goal than before. That’s something to be proud of.