Bad news, Good news

Joking with a friend last night I related to her my theory about how the TV blew up – ‘go on’ she said ‘Professor Darshan tell me how it happened’ – 'Well, I suspect the relentless negativity of the news was just too much for the poor thing to take – I know it was for me!' - I replied.

I believe it is important to keep informed, especially where there is injustice against innocent people. However there’s more to us human beings than the destruction of each other and the planet. We’re doing good things too and it’s a shame more of these stories don’t show up in the news. So that when we watch it we’re not just bombarded with images and reports of occurring and impending disaster but also uplifted, made to feel a little lighter, given some hope and touched in some way by hearing of the kindness and compassion we’re also capable of.

Sometimes I think if aliens came and visited earth and the first thing they did was to switch on the news they’d probably jump straight back in their spaceships and make the quickest exit possible. That would be such a shame, because the news isn’t a balanced representation of what is really happening in our world.

I think we can all take personal responsibility and search for the ‘good news’ in life too. Better still maybe we can create it through our actions as individuals and through our interaction with others.

Life without Television

Last weekend I made myself a big mug of camomile tea, got my fleece blanket and settled down to watch a good film. When I switched on the TV there was a loud bang followed by some smoke and the smell of fumes. It was a bit of a shock but I was pleased too in a strange way, because I had wanted to have more time to read and to write my journal.


So after airing the room I picked up a half read book, which ironically had been sitting for ages on a shelf in the TV cabinet and snuggled up on the sofa. It was so relaxing, I’d pause from time to time to listen to the gentle ticking of the wall clock and only put the book down after I’d finished it.

I’d already planned to spring clean the lounge the next day so the timing was perfect and with the help of a kind neighbour the TV was put in the car and taken to its final resting place at the tip and a special cage just for old TVs.

It does feel a bit strange, but I do notice I’m more relaxed, which isn’t due to not watching TV. I was such a hopeless viewer anyway, if there were ever a competition to find the worlds worst TV viewer I would win hands down, my viewing was so erratic, I’d go a whole week sometimes without even switching it on, I never followed any programmes. I guess the only real use I had for it was to watch DVDs, something historical and meaningful which I did enjoy from time to time. If all viewers were like me the BBC would only have to make about three programmes a year and alternate them!

I think the relaxation could be down to the fact that I’m now doing more activities which are calming by nature, like reading an inspiring book and really enjoying the quietness, of which there’s not a lot in modern day living. I bumped into a friend yesterday who asked if I’d been on holiday - no I said I’ve just been without TV for a week!

Success with New Years Resolutions

Most people will be starting the New Year with some resolutions in mind. Having goals is fundamentally important to wellbeing. Goals are attractors, like magnets they pull us forwards into our future, making it compelling and stop us from getting stuck. They give our lives a sense of direction and movement. Achieving them has a positive impact on our self esteem.

Here are some simple tips to help you on your way:

State your goal in positive terms. What you want to achieve as opposed to what you want to stop doing, for example ‘I want to eat less chocolate’ can be better rephrased as ‘I want to eat more fruit’. This is because in order to process the negative your mind first has to make a picture of what is to be negated – so it sees a nice big bar of chocolate and then tells itself not to eat it, which actually reinforces the very thing you want to keep away from! Having a goal of eating more fruit gives your brain a very clear and direct message of what you want to happen.

Commit your goals to writing. Anything which has significance in life is stated in writing. Birth, marriage, death, laws, religious scriptures all have written form. Remember to include the date you set your goal, it will be meaningful when you look back after achieving it. A journal, diary, laptop or postcards are all great for doing this. If you’re a more visually oriented person you might like to create a collage of different pictures or photos which represent your goal.

Specify for Success. Anything can be accomplished if it’s broken down into small enough steps. We human beings have sent men to the moon! Goals are essentially journeys, they take us from where we are to where we want to be and like any journey they are made up of individual steps. Identifying the daily, weekly and monthly steps which need to be taken, will help you to keep on track.

These can be of an external nature such as doing regular exercise, sticking to a healthy eating plan, learning a new skill or getting the support of a friend. Equally important are the internal personal qualities you can draw on like determination, being organised, relaxed, creative or patient. Beliefs also exert a huge amount of influence on goals, an empowering belief to hold could be: ‘I deserve to have my goal and am capable of achieving it.’

Have milestones and celebrate them. Milestones are critical for keeping up the necessary motivation to reach a goal. Celebrating them serves to acknowledge all the effort you’ve put in and how far you’ve come, as well as adding in some all important feel good factor.

Keep your eye on the goal when doing the boring stuff. Having the bigger picture in mind while doing the smaller everyday kinds of tasks towards your goal will help you to stay focused and motivated.

Don’t be scared of the blips. Thankfully we’re not robots, but wonderful human beings, so there will be days when you are amazingly enthusiastic and feel nothing in the world could stop you and others when you feel weary and tired towards your goal. When you have a blip be gentle and loving to yourself and remember if you’ve taken three steps forward and moved back two, you’ve still gained one step and are still closer to your goal than before. That’s something to be proud of.

Treasure Maps

Creating a treasure map is one of my favourite things to do around this time of year. It’s an enjoyable, fun way of coming up with a wish list for the year ahead. The beauty of it is, because it employs right brain, unconscious processes through imagery, the usual kinds of limited thinking associated with setting goals is easily by-passed.

At the beginning of December I’ll start collecting old magazines, brochures and leaflets that come through the door. So that by the time the holidays start there is a good pile. I tend to do it in two stages. The first afternoon I just go through and cut out any images which appeal to me, it’s not necessary to know why I’m drawn to them, just that I am. It helps to set the scene too, by creating a relaxing environment, through lighting some candles, making sure the room is really cosy and having some nice snacks to nibble on. The next day I’ll take the pile of cut out images and sift them, some may be discarded and with those that remain I’ll start to arrange them onto a piece of coloured card. Once all the positions feel right I’ll stick them down with glue. I might look at it for a day or two and then it will go in the wardrobe out of sight before the new year begins, until I happen to be doing some spring cleaning or sorting, when it might be looked over again.

The unconscious mind processes information in the form of images, symbols, metaphors and analogies. Sometimes it’s only when the year comes to a close that I have been able to work out what a particular image represented to me, as a goal - hence the name treasure, since treasure is always hidden, however the map does always lead to it. For the several years I’ve been creating a treasure map for yearly goals, somehow I’ve always achieved everything on it – this year in particular I feel I’ve just whizzed through in terms of my being, doing and having goals. So I’m looking forward to what the next year will bring.

Time for Reflection

As the year draws to a close I’ve been reflecting upon the experiences which have been most significant for me. My two trips to India certainly stand out. It was a real test of personal strength to travel alone as a woman knowing that I was going to be entirely responsible for my personal safety and well being. There wouldn’t be the reassurance of emergency services such as police and ambulance as we have here, I’d be completely alone, save for the few days spent with some relatives.

Both trips were exhilarating. I let myself be guided by my intuition, if a situation or person didn’t feel right I didn’t hang around to find out why. Just because an individual or family were friendly and warm it didn’t mean they had my trust, that’s something earned over time. It was emotionally taxing though to be constantly aware of potential dangers to safety, not smiling as much as I do normally was really hard, a friend of mine had told me to leave my smile at the departure lounge at Heathrow and pick it up on the way back – ‘it means different things out there’ she said. Being firm but polite was not too difficult as it’s part of my business personality and staying reserved and quiet was easy since I was travelling alone and there was no one to talk to anyway – the funny outcome of that was most of the locals thought I couldn’t speak the language, some went to great pains to speak to me in English while others would talk about me not knowing I could understand every word that was being said!

‘It’s a land of extremes’ as a friend once said, true to a great extent, a place where chaos and tranquillity dwell as neighbours.

Here are some shots from my last day there.

Two Garments

I received some sad news recently of a relative who has been diagnosed with a serious illness. As I thought about it today I was reminded of a particular Sikh teaching; that hardship and pain, joy and happiness are the two sets of clothes worn alternately by every human being as they travel on life’s journey.

I like this metaphor, to me at a deeper level it’s indicating that events distressing or happy are external, and we always have the power to choose our response in any situation no matter how difficult. A physical disease could be seen as the start of a healthier way of living. As for ailments labelled as life threatening, no person in the human race has a guarantee that they will wake up to another tomorrow. Crossing the street as a pedestrian, driving a car, getting on a train or aeroplane are just some of the countless potentially life endangering things we individuals do everyday.

For me it’s about not taking anything for granted and living life to the full, not just dreaming dreams but living them, now.

Serenity

For a while now I’ve cultivated a habit of getting up early and starting meditation and prayer at 5am. The thing that’s most profound at this time of day is the quietness, there’s simply no sound at all for up to 30 minutes sometimes until a car goes past somewhere in the distance. And it’s not just the silence that is so captivating to me but the stillness too - there’s no movement in the environment either, no cars or planes or people. It’s just like life is suspended. The experience of this silence and stillness sets me up for the whole day; it’s the foundation upon which the rest of the day stands. I was reflecting recently that I could give up anything else in life but not this serenity, it has untold value for me.