Past, Present & Future

Problems don’t fall out of the sky, they are created over time through our thinking and actions (as well as our non-actions). In this respect we can say we are products of our past. It is our past which has brought us to and shaped the present state of our lives. The interesting thing is that today also informs tomorrow - the future. Whilst we can’t change the past, we do stand at a point of immense power in the present, whatever choices we make today create the consequences we will face tomorrow. In my mind, of the three; past, present and future, it’s the present which offers most leverage in helping us shape and live the lives we truly desire.

In my Shadow is my Light

I came across this quote some time ago. In my understanding it’s about those aspects of ourselves which need strengthening or improving, parts of us which have been around for a long while, followed us around like a shadow, we usually know them quite well, they are familiar, because we’ve tried so hard to change them and so many times, to the point the mere thought of them can fill us with dread and fear. Yet that dark shadow (those ways of being or behaving) is exactly where we need to go, for it illuminates those areas where we have most opportunity for personal growth.

Problems, Problems

When we have them it feels like we’re the only ones under the dark cloud and everyone else is deliriously happy! Forgetting perhaps that everyone has problems of one kind or another, for some it's concerns over health, while others are worried about finances or stressed by a relationship, indeed it’s said the only people without problems are the ones in cemeteries. From politicians, royalty and super stars to ordinary people like us, we all have them. What’s interesting too is the common desire to have a ‘problem free’ life. NLP has a profound way of transforming problems into achievable goals. Life is constantly changing and will never be ‘problem free’, however we can equip ourselves with the tools to deal with our problems head on rather than shrinking in fear of them. The amount of energy expended in denying a problem can be huge, the same energy when channelled into transforming a problem into a goal can motivate, uplift, energise and bring hope.

Perfect Imperfection

I came across this beautiful image of a peacock recently.

Have you ever thought what ugly feet a peacock has? It’s almost as if two different birds have been joined together, but it’s also nice, that even where there are so many awesome qualities, there are also flaws, a bit like us humans with our strengths and weaknesses, our flaws giving us the work we need to do in life’s school. I think striving for perfection is a doomed undertaking as it simply doesn’t exist, and the process of seeking it is costly in the harm done to our self esteem.

Designer Hugs

A visit to see my grandmother always gives me lots of food for thought. She’s an amazing person, I don’t know anyone who is able to be so present and in the moment and it shows up in everything she does, even her hugs, which are not just a momentary quick there-you-go as mind and body move onto something else, but she really ‘holds’ people physically and emotionally. I don’t ever recall her being the first to let go either. Her way of being is inspirational in this one eye and hand on the next task style of modern life.

Healing Trauma

I’m not sure where I heard or read this but the idea that ‘Life would not be painful if we lived and died once, but we experience the pain of death every time there is a major trauma in our lives.’ Serious illness, redundancy, repossession of a home, end of a relationship, loss of a parent, child or other close relative are just some of those traumas. The feelings involved can be vast, ranging from explosive anger and rage at one end to deep anguish and hurt at the other. Left unexpressed the emotions don’t go away they take up space and energy as they are repressed, manifesting overtime in the body as muscular tension and even disease.

I feel so empowered as an NLP Therapist helping people in such situations, because NLP can effectively nurture deep healing even with clients for whom the recalling of the traumatic episode is unbearable, or where the memory of the event is fragmented. Giving them freedom from the past, emotionally, mentally and physically.

Food Experiment

I’m looking forward to an interesting next few days as I manage without a refrigerator. 7 days to be precise until the new one arrives, its poor predecessor having come to a sudden stop last night. I can’t quite get my head round it yet. People have been giving me lots of reassurance, especially stories about how folks forty or so years ago managed perfectly well without them. A time when milk used to be delivered to the door early each morning and the last drop went into nightcaps in the evening. When people cooked enough for one meal. A kind of now and in the moment way of cooking and eating. Reminds me of holidays abroad in India where as children if we got peckish while playing outdoors we would walk just a few metres and pull some turnips out of the soil, wash them with water from a well, peel the skin off with our teeth and gobble them up. And they were so delicious! Soil to tummy in ten minutes!