The Victim and the Bully

The bully’s position is always defined by the victim. If there’s no victim there can’t be a bully.

As soon as the victim realizes their personal power and is no longer a victim the bully either disappears – since in order to maintain their position as a bully they must seek another victim or less frequently the bully too is empowered and transformed.

At one time, somewhere in the past the bully will have also been a victim. They too will have been bullied or abused and this pattern can often be seen going further and further back into the family system. Thinking about it in these terms bullies are really victims of victims. This is not to condone their bad or abusive behaviour but to understand why they do what they do. The important point is to know that the most powerful person within the bully/victim relationship is always the victim.